The Time That Time Got Away

When a child fist catches an adult out, when it first walks into his grave little head that adults do not always have divine intelligence, that their judgments are not always wise, their thinking true, their sentences just, his world falls into panic desolation. The Gods are fallen and all safety is gone. And in a sense, with a loss of higher power, the child is left to believe that they are now the all know and all powerful, respecting and answering to no one, it is a forever chain that everyone experiences, it is nothing new.                                    

BUT!!!

There is something uncommon among those children... in a select few, there are those who cannot push their feelings aside, who do not simply believe what they see, but must know, must experience, must be, must do... and to them a reckoning awaits with the world. Later in life, we will call these children genius, or brilliance, or masterful, or artful, or pioneers. Most of those however may drop off the edge and like a cloud of hydrogen, combust with volatile repercussions at the high expenditure of energy, work, and time that yields little worldly profitability. However, for those few who are willing to get up after a horrible nose dive on the asphalt, they are the ones who change the world. It takes more than saying, "I've fallen! Guess I learned my lesson there," it takes the immortal strength and courage to get back up and go again, which means several things. A) you must get up off your ass and do something. Whether you pursue the same path which you started out on or not, continue. Progress in any direction is progress (except for backwards... backwards progression is DIgression, which is debatably still a form of progress), and it hardly matters where you end up as long as you can be proud being ended up there. Which means B) it doesn't matter HOW you make your eggs in the morning, it just matters that you made them. If you have done something today and learned from it, you are better. If you have failed at something, and learned from it, you are still better. Learning has no negative connotation, there is no knowledge wasted, no experience better left unexperienced, and I would hope that there is nothing regretted and nothing grudged. If you can be happy that you are alive today, I don't know how you can be mad at the things of the past or hold on to nit-picky happenstances, they happened, and now they're over, make sure that they don't happen in the future, but they happened for a reason. They shaped you, molded you into who you are today, and you are better today than you were yesterday, and you will be better tomorrow than you were today... like I said, it doesn't matter HOW to learn, as long as you're learning. Progression is eternal, from any perspective, and if you are not progressing than you die. And finally C) when you get back up, it comes with the knowledge that YOU ARE GOING TO FALL DOWN AGAIN. If that is too much to handle, than don't get up. But I would hope and pray! that we are all willing to fall, that we are all willing to embrace our mistakes; not as faults, but rather, as stepping stones, passageways of learning and knowledge that make us a better we! We are human, and to err is human, so if you don't want to make mistakes and if you ESPECIALLY don't want to learn from them, the answer is simple... don't be human (which is impossible by the way).
There is so little time that we have here... it is SO precious, SO dear, SO easily wasted, SO easily pushed aside, but if you took a moment or two to think about it, or simply reflect on your past, you would be aghast at the realization that it is not long at all.

It truly is an extraordinary thing, knowing the end is drawing near. Knowing that you and a loved one must part ways, that the days you so loved in high school are no longer waiting for you upon graduation, knowing that your mortal existence must come to a close, understanding that time is precious and importantly - rare.
With that being said, knowing all of that gives us the upper hand in things, it gives us the advantage to control it, learning to make the most of what little you DO have. Every day, when I think I've discovered it for sure, I rediscover it and am blown away with how little I knew of it previously, that the God I've come to know and believe in is one of infinite compassion, power, knowledge, growth and yes, even time.
And the more acquainted with time I become, the more I realize that it is the least biased matter in the universe, time has no cares, no worries, no promises to keep and refuses to alter its course simply because you are good or bad, because you are frail or strong, young or old, enjoying your time or dreading it, playing victim or taking advantage of it... it simply moves forward. It doesn't wait, it pick sides, it doesn't give head starts or handicaps, it just does... it just... progresses.
By that definition it makes it sound like time is lifeless, but on the contrary, it is just as human as any of us, it recognizes and accents beauty, it ages and tests us, it makes the horrible moments less horrible and the perfect moments more ethereal; it's what makes love more precious, charity more tender, service more gratifying, victories more victorious and losses more terrible. But in it's human inanimateness comes its greatest spectacle

Time

Is

Only

Temporary

Which means that everything in its realm of control (so everything), is temporary with it.

Heartache, pain, joy, suffering, hunger, hiking, playing, laughing, walking, talking, sleeping, planning, thinking, or anything else related to the mortal presence of time is only temporary.

The SPIRIT of those, however, are NOT tied to time. The spirit of those is an 'otherness,' a non-mortal existence that will continue on for no time, as it has existed without time for as long as time has existed. To us, time must be two dimensional, it exists on one plane and moves in one direction, otherwise the very fabric of existence is torn or altered. 

But in a much larger and eternal perspective, time is temporary, which renders it an eternal and heavenly fallacy. Our bodies, designed after the image of God are broken, poor, evil constitutions, and the product that dictates their actions is the same. Our bodies now are not as they will be on a much larger and grander scale, nor is time. In our necessary two dimensional the actuality of time may have multiple dimensions, not as we view it, but as an all knowing higher power does. I personally believe that because God's time and our time is SO different, he must give us eternity only as a reference, a reference for no time at all, where you are not bound by the restrictions of mortality, humanness... time. But are free to Godliness and never ending spirit... no time.

As obtuse at the theory may sound, the principle remains the same. Everything we experience under the all encompassing umbrella of mortal time, is temporary. There is NOTHING that is not. All heartache is recoverable from, all pain is endurable, all trails are temporary, all actions are forgivable, all sadness becomes elation, all tears become laughter, all lifeless Earth can become lively again. I have never heard of a human being refusing to laugh because it is a waste of time. I have never heard someone say they refuse to smile because there is too much bad in the world. 

"A day without laughter is a day wasted" ~ Charlie Chaplin

We mustn't be distracted by the bad... like looking at a white painting, the smallest black dot can avert all our attention and we focus only on that black dot, not realizing that there is an entire canvas filled with beautiful, everlasting, whiteness. Like the canvas, we must recognize that the dot is there, acknowledge its presence and continue admiring the rest of the picture, only when you get unnecessarily close does the DOT consume YOU, and you lose sight of the whiteness. From there on, it takes the museum curator doddling about to pull you away from the painting and help you to understand the picture is more beautiful as a whole rather than a brush stroke. No one gets worked up about the seven hundredth and eighty first brush stroke that Vincent Van Gogh made on his picture "Starry Night," but they do recognize that this stroke compliments all other strokes and forms a beautiful, beautiful painting. For all we know, it may have been a mistake, a faulty stroke, or the wrong color, or anything else you want it to be or not be, drastically good or drastically bad, but in the end, it all works out, it is still a painting and it is still beautiful. Why waste your time?

I'll answer that for you. A lot of it comes from our ability to forgive, forget and move on. When we do not dwell on the unfortunate happenstances of life several things happen. First, we find we are immediately separated from sadness, misery, anger, pain, grudges, hate, anxiety, etc. etc. and are now separable from demons we once thought we were inseparable from, and the comfort that comes from that alone is understated when I say overwhelming. The next is, that in this separation, when we grow up and move on, we become callused and stronger, meaning we are no longer bothered by trivia. There is much trivia in life and to pay respect to it is wasteful and damaging, acknowledge it is there and more on. There's one in every group, the person that tries to tell to many over the top jokes. Even in pity laughter we encourage and breathe life into a subject better concentrated elsewhere, pay no attention to trivia... even pity attention. And lastly, you find that you have more strength then you originally gave yourself credit for and that your strength is accompanied by fearless perseverance, and at that spark comes a never ending cycle where growth adds to growth and change adds to change and you are never done becoming someone you never expected to be and you are always a different somebody than the nobody that was you yesterday.

It's hard... life is hard... that's just a general rule. No one ever said it was going to be easy... just worth it. The calm after the storm is only beautiful because of the rage, the darkest of the night is just before the dawn. The sacrifice for good is always the hardest, yet always the most satisfying. Only through the shaping trials of temptation, adversity and the sheer depths of mortality may we as human beings become who they are today, good or evil, great or insignificant. It takes the hardest of trials, and darkest of nights to shape the strongest of men who bring the brightest of days.

Everything happens for a reason.

May God or whatever higher power you believe in grant with so many blessings that you have no more room to recieve them and they you may do nothing with the left overs but give them, freely, with no intention of return or praise. Keep your head up, don't worry about what's ahead, just do it, it's about time we all did.

Tiffanie

I stared...

For a long time, several hours, which turned into a couple of days, which turned into a few weeks... just gazing at the blank page that was soon to be this blog post. I didn't even put a title because the words were not there to fill it... it took me weeks to figure out what I would title it. I had approximately 8.100,000 bajillion things running through my head, all of which I knew I wasn't going to be able to write down. But of those bajillions of things, the most repetitive and only one that mattered, was Tiffanie. But even then, my thoughts are sporadic, and my emotions befuddled... so pardon my words and pardon my thoughts, they are barely coherent and they are filled with cheesy love for my darling sweet.
My sweetest love beat me to the chase, I feel incompetent attempting to achieve what she so plainly and profoundly stated, and I will in no way attempt to out-blog, out-speak, out-write or out-do her in any way, it's not my place and her love and affection is to valuable. I could speak forever about Tiffanie... I really could just write past the sunrises and far beyond the setting horizons of the coming months, but I think the best idea would be to state the truth - the clear, easy and simple truth. It goes like this, I love her and in the physical, palpable, reaches of my heart there is no one compares to the affection, passion, care, and love that I feel for her. She is beautiful, she is an angel (a literal and guiding angel), she is passionate and affectionate, and most importantly, she is my best friend. First and foremost, my best friend.

Not everyone has the resplendent joy of titling their best friend as lover (or maybe they do and I just never understood it until now), and if there were words that existed in any tongue of man to describe the ethereal happiness, joy and peace in my heart at every word, touch, glance and smile that emanates from her, I would attempt my best to match their glory to hers. Sadly, it would not compare, and the words would be spoken in vain.
She is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

There is a dreamlike state about her, where I'm never sure if I'm dreaming or not. I spend so much of my time thinking, and caring, and dreaming of her, the actual time spent together seems like a literal piece of heaven. I would venture that far too! As far as to say, in my limited knowledge of life experience, in what little I know of life, this is the closest to heaven that I've ever been. For those of you who don't know, Tiffanie is the one that convinced me I need to go on a mission... or rather, was the initiating catalyst to push me into telling myself that I needed to go on a mission. So now, not only do I have God by my side as my constant companion (not to say that he never was), but I have my most bestest friend too, and it literally is heaven. I have no fears, I have no doubts, I have few cares and worries, and all I can do is love.

She makes me a better me... or strive to be. I still have my bad days, I still have my flaws and poor attributes, but I want them gone. I want nothing but the best for her, because selfishly, I want nothing but the best for me - likewise, she has come to be my everything, so the best I can have is her, at her best, which means that I want nothing for her but the things that make her better and leave her at her best everyday.

I cannot say when I knew I loved Tiffanie, I can't say when she won my heart or when I won hers... I'm not even sure it happened that way, there was no winning involved. It's, in a sense, been the best draw I've ever been a part of. No... the best way I can think of describing it as, is trust. There came a time when trust was built, and when that trust strengthened, and when that trust became knowledge, and the knowledge developed into affection and when that affection turned to passion, I only knew that I trusted where we were going. I did not see it happening, when it first started, I wanted more than anything for it to fail, but I have never been so happy to be proven wrong in my life. She seems to be single source of entertainment, joy, communication, where I spend my down time, where I put my thinking effort into... and the more and more that we talk, and the more and more time we spend together, I have a harder time giving her up. I feel so selfish loving her so much, it seems almost wrong that just ONE person gets the full bent of my affection and attention, thought and time. I would like to spread it elsewhere, but I can't. She is my everything. So I apologize. For those of you who need her more than I, I do not mean to distract, I do not mean to disturb, and I, more than anything, do not mean to sour any other relationship solidified between the two of you. I can honestly say I do not plan the time I spend with her, rarely have we meditated on when we're going to see each other, or when we're going to spend time together, it just happens and we just do... pretty much the archetype of our entire relationship.

I love Tiffanie. She is the most beautiful soul, and I am lucky to have my heart stolen by such a shining ray of joy and such a happy and heavenly daughter of God. I love her, I need her, I want her, and I cannot! lose her. I want her, I want everything about her, every little thing from her head to her toes and every piece of soul inside and out and in between. Every blemish, every flaw, each freckle and hair, every wrinkle in her lips, every shimmer in her eyes.
She not only is herself with me, but she allows me to be myself with her. If you were to go around to every person I know, or every person who thinks they know me and ask them to tell a secret about me, you would never get the whole truth, you'd never have a consistent story. With the exception of a very, very few, I am not myself around others. I smile every time at the thought that Tiffanie is the only one to know me, all of me... that is... I have never lied to her, nor have I even thought about lying to her. She is the only one that knows all my stories, and all of me, and it puts me in the happiest mood to know that it is she filling those shoes, and no one else.
We have farting and burping contests (maybe she doesn't participate as much as I do... but....;)
We play like little kids in the street
We have snowball fights while we're wearing T-Shirts
We pass the time making faces
We play
We talk
We eat
We dance
We sing
We listen
We watch
We learn
We love

I have never asked for much of life, and all at once, wrapped up in one person... it gave me everything.

I have a hard time putting into words the feelings I have for Tiffanie, largely because the words to describe her and the feelings we share don't exist, partially because I hold her so sacred to my heart and so dear to my soul.

I love her. I love her sweet, beautiful, caring and adoring family. I love her eyes and her nose and her hair and her hands. I love her ambition and her musicality. I love her capacity to love. I love  her capacity to be as omnipresent as is humanly possible. I love her kind soul and her sweet tears. I love her. I love her.

Thank you Tiff, for your love and your support.  From miles away I can feel your embrace, I can hear your voice, I can touch your soul, I can picture your face. I love you more than I think I'll ever let on, for how often I abuse those words in their repetition, may I forever abuse them in the years to come, I love you. I am so lucky to be blessed with a best friend like you, to have a soul as forever courageous, daring, bold, beautiful and heavenly as I have dreamed of and prayed for. You are every wish come true, every promise fulfilled, every blessing received and every marvel wondered. I love you and may the next two years we are apart serve their purposes well and strengthen everything we are, who we are, and what we stand for. I love you, my forever best friend. May our days be forever filled with scripture sharing, glorious rain, orange slices, games of footsies, movies and books, fake tattoos and late night drives, never ending music, apples, kisses, bubble wrap, journals, stories, faces, uncut grass, tree houses, pictures and most importantly friendship and the love that is felt there. I kid you not when I say I will write you 730 letters, one letter for every day or the year, for two years. I can't not. Your love is most precious to me, you mean the world to me - I hope you will remember that forever. I love you Tink.

"You know the place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you. That's where I'll be waiting."

"If you shut your eyes and are a lucky one, you may see at times a shapeless pool of lovely pale colours suspended in the darkness; then if you squeeze your eyes tighter, the pool begins to take shape, and the colours become so vivid that with another squeeze they must go on fire." That's our home, that's where our hearts are. Happy.

Where do I want to be in five years? Happy.

As of right now. I've never been happier in my life.

The Three Hour Back Break

The secret has been shouted, the cat's out of the bag, and the last few who care to know, this is it. The last thing I want to do is to tell you for reward or congradulation, this is not a public event, but rather... I'm simply letting you know that I'm resolute in serving my mission. I have yet to get my call or even send in my papers for that matter, but a mission none the less.

In the course of a three hour conversation with the most dear friend I have, my life took a turn for the different. It seemed that finally when I had my life settled and planned, we went for a curve ball at the twenty yard line and somehow scored the goal all the same. In a crazy world of emotions and religion and personal betterment, the choice to serve a mission has been far from an easy one, and I have even found myself trying to talk me out of it, only to realize how foolish that is, and re talk myself into talking me out of I talking myself out of a mission. But many have asked how I came to this decision and I'd rather not tell the story over and over and over again, so things are going to get extremely personal and religious here, if you don't care for either of those, than this is your lucky get out of jail free card, I find it sacred, which is why I'm so inclined to share it with you.

Right off the bat, I don't know how else to describe the feelings that have come with it, but I will try my best. I know that my heart is full. Every emotion is overflowing at every second of every day, it seems to me that every blessed power has entered my mind. In an ethereal light, all powers have not ceased, but rather, unified and stopped their course, only to help and comfort me in this time of decision and deliberation. I assure you, that this decision to go on a mission is my own, the power in my soul and peace in my heart are my own, but to that same end... I am nothing. They do not belong to me, I did not create them. My acceptance of these things, of the spirit, of my emotions, of this power is where they are derived from. Almost laughably, I am still (STILL!) in awe of my acceptance. I'm quite literally aghast with the change of heart that has taken place, but everyday that passes and every reassurance to myself is more and more peaceful and more and more comforting to the mind, body and spirit. There have no doubt been anxieties that have accompanied this decision, but they altogether have held little or no importance. They come and they go, like strangers on the street, only a select few are going to make a difference or are worth giving my full attention to. They seem to have the feelings of anxiety, but with a deep indisputable peace in my heart. Rather, they, or I, anticipate them to be anxious mindsets; even to the point where I convince myself I am suffering the symptoms, but are immediately replaced and shut out with peace of mind and a holistic enlightenment of the soul. I questioned often, "Is this enlightenment?" and the answer came so plainly that I can literally quote it, "Yes Marshall, this is what I would call 'enlightenment' - and also, the pure love of Christ." I was dumbfounded and swimming in my tears for the next several hours. Surely this is enlightenment, I have found it.

I have found it, I have rediscovered the faith, the faith that for so long I have dismissed and subdued, refused to accept because of my ego, my pride and my insufferable necessity to be right. But now, there is a wonderful light that fills my life. It is so potently centered that the light that fills the entity of my life becomes pointedly focused, like the head of a pin, and that focused light becomes a laser; with all of its direction and focus and intensity, without losing an atom of its potential and still managing to light, fully, that very entity from whence it came. It doesn't work in practicality, nor in theory either, it makes little sense, but it doesn't matter. I cannot dispute it, I now have faith in it, I believe it and I trust it. I also believe that with time, patience and a great deal of faith, it may come to trust me in return. I blessed with that guiding light that led me to this decision. She has been God's working tool to guide me back to the rod and show me the love that I have missed out on for so long. It is a testament to me, I believe, that God knows us better than we know us, and wants what's best for us more than WE want what we think is best for us, and He knows who and what can touch our hearts better than we, to open our souls to receive what is most important, to make us who we need to become and who we can be proud of; better than our mortal minds can dictate. I am SO lucky to have the support and guidance of so many dear friends. They are the family of my soul and captors of my heart. How I managed to acquire these guardian angels is FAR beyond me. I am eternally indebted, grateful for and in love with each of them and the kind and compassionate spirits that they house. The course of a life has come to mean very little, I feel. The end product is of no importance, we all know the final chapter of each story, plainly, it's death. So in the mean time, it's the adventures in the journey on this course that add depth and value, shine and luster to the ring. It is the deeds and legacy that make it of any true value to yourself or others. I am SO ecstatic about the adventures that lie ahead for me, both near and far, and what legacy and deeds I can accomplish in this lifetime. It certainly is interesting... life.

Life has a way of escaping us when we haven't even captured it to begin with and sometimes... that escape is JUST the wake up call we need to kick our lives into gear and change our souls. This process, a change of heart, is so electrifying. I am baffled by the process behind a change of heart. To know what it is and to be subject to it are two different things indeed. I am still trying to comprehend the over status. I feel quite like Dickens' Scrooge, from A Christmas Carol. Surely there was a change of heart in this man, otherwise, he would not have acted upon this new found love and have been so openly charitable with his joy and happiness. But in the accompaniment of such a turnover, there seems to emanate this ethereal "otherness." It is some sort of transcendental state of being where I think, ''This is not me," "I could not have thought this way," "This cannot happen," "I think not, I AM not, I act not this way." While my heart has changed and learned to be peaceful with the art of acceptance, my mind is still struggling with the older, more naive and thoughtless behaviours and habitual patterns of human-ness. I am so at peace that I am looking for things to go wrong, but when I have found a lead to what might be a viable down bringing of this enlightenment? Faith, joy, and happiness outweigh worldly reason and I am again brought full circle to stand in awe at the process behind what it is to have a change of heart. I've come to understand that a majority of that respect may come from previous choices that I've made which in turn have taken time away from being close to God and the spirit. In lacking that strength I can can now have a better understanding and more full appreciation of the time I have with Him and what a vitally important gift it is. Happiness is the object and design of our nature and existence and will be the end thereof if we can pursue the life and path that leads to it. Whether or not it's the choice to serve a mission, for me, the peace that has accompanied it has brought me happiness. Now that I have found what has made me happy, I cannot let it go, it is too valuable and it means too much for me to simply give it up now. it's like finding an infinite amount of what you've been searching for all of your life, but never having really lost it at all. And now you have so much of it and you love it so deeply, that you want others to experience it and love it as deeply and intimately as you do. You want others to search for and find what they have never lost and more importantly now that you have searched and found together, you now mutually want to share in it with each other. This now means you have found infinite of what you never lost and then some with those whom you have helped in their adventure, in their object and design, in their happiness. There is nothing more fulfilling than seeing the potential and goodness in someone and helping them to achieve it. OUR full potential is reached when we are willing to let others lift us up to help us achieve it, we cannot do it on our own. But for those who attempt to, we discover that we were not wrong to try and progress singularly, but that we tried! And in our failure to succeed, learned from our mistakes, bettered ourselves and those around us the best we knew how and moved forward with our new potential to guide us and our memories and mistakes to teach us; and with our change of heart and new paradigm in head, nothing can bar our way!

This is enlightenment! This is the birth and freedom of a new, young, free soul. And this new, young, free soul is wild and greatly under appreciated by, ironically, the soul itself. It does not know that the body and mind it inhabits will wither, unable to keep up in its mortal existence with it's passion and fire and drive. It does not know it will be replaced with new worries and cares and concerns and overwhelming prospects of life. But the mature and aged soul does, it has experienced and it knows and at the catch of this new young fire springs forth a burst of passion, an ignition of life and the soul is found again... found where it was never lost to begin with. It is for this overly elaborate process that I am grateful for the wayward and confused. I embrace the trials and temptations set forth by the mighty and terrifying Lucifer, for while he does manage to win a few celestially heartbreaking battles, he manages more damage against himself than is understandable, he is the beginning of this process, the Atonement of Christ. He is the start of this combustion of passion and fire, and in that circle, more good is found in the change of heart than is mortally understandable, and we in turn reach out, grasping firmly to the rod to those who have lost it's comforting and sure grip and in turn, their changed hearts and open hands outstretch and quickly the effect is exponentially spread. I do not fear the Devil, I fear for those who are unwilling to accept outreached hands. As easily deducible as it is, we are mortal, and we cannot reach out forever to everyone at all times. But there IS someone who CAN! Beyond the restrictions and temptations, aggravations and faults of mortality, and his hand is ALWAYS outstretched, to ALL, at ALL times, EVERYWHERE and it never wanes in its knowledge, power and glory. It is beautiful, it is perfect and best of all, it is ours. But ONLY, if we choose to accept it.

What a blessing the gospel is... WHAT A BLESSING!!! I sat in church today simply thinking, this is good, this is wonderful! And at one point, people who weren't paying attention caught my eye and I immediately thought, "HOW ARE YOU NOT PAYING ATTENTION!!! HOW CAN YOU DEVOID YOURSELF OF THIS KNOWLEDGE!!!" I wanted to scream it from the pulpit, shove over the speaker and just say, "THIS IS THE GOSPEL!!!!!!! HOW CAN YOU NOT PAY ATTENTION!!!" It was a little brash, but I've felt such a power in Sunday's. I've only been active a month and already, Sunday's are my favorite day. I'm up early to go to church, I dress in my finest attire, I'm attentive and this week I even brought a journal to take notes. I have missed the soothing four parts writings of hymns, the easy theory and music analysis I get to do each week in an hour of meditation, an hour where my ever thinking mind is clean and calm... it is my break from the world, my rest from an overbearing life. I was not ready for it... but religion has become my safe haven.

I leave you quickly with an excerpt from the November 84 Ensign and the words of Elder Dallin H. Oaks: "When we think of service, we usually think of the acts of our hands. But the scriptures teach that the Lord looks to our thoughts as well as to our acts. One of God’s earliest commandments to Israel was that they should love him and “serve him with all your heart and with all your soul.” (Deut. 11:13.) When the prophet Samuel was sent to Bethlehem to choose and anoint one of the sons of Jesse as a new king for Israel, the Lord told him to reject the first son, though he was a man of fine appearance. The Lord explained, “Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.” (1 Sam. 16:7.)"

I am reminded of the widow's mite (okay... one more), and the spirit of, it's not how much you give, but with the intention and the meaning behind the giving.

I love you all, and I love our Father in Heaven and our Savior, Jesus Christ. There is no power in existence that feels as beautiful or empowering as his. The atonement is real. GUYS!!! It's REAL!!! It works, and don't take my word for it... go find out for yourself. There is a wonderful set of written words for us to study, they are true, they are chalk full of only good things. Things that bring us closer to our Father in Heaven, things that bring us closer to eternal salvation. These things are true, the love and power and glory and beauty and perfection is true, and it's all for us and our growth and benefit. I love you. I love this gospel. I love! Of what few things I can bear witness of and testify to their truth, I do with great vigor, peace and a deep and loving conviction. Forever. And ever. In the holy name of our brother and Savior, the eternal and glorious son of God.
Amen.

The Poem - Come Follow Me

When the tide is too high
and morale is too low,
just look in your heart,
You'll know where to go.

Inside there's a compass
to guide you your way.
A spiritual Star Chart,
to guide you today!

It leads beyond your world,
and FAR beyond mine.
Through feelings, emotions,
through space and through time.

This compass, this guidance
will never fall through,
it all just depends
on what you choose to do.

The Savior, he loves you,
your compass, your friend.
He watched the world start,
He'll be there in the end.

It's not who you've become,
what you think you have done,
But the love and compassion
You've shown everyone.

"I died on the cross
with no more than a thorn,
it's My death and suffering
for your sins I've born.

So know if you're sad,
or you're lonely at heart,
like My Father and I,
We are never apart.

You are never alone
there's no need for your fear
and with my grief and pain
there may come a soft tear

All you need is your faith
simply ask, simply try.
Now. Here are My wings
and My Love, Child. Fly!"

When the tide is too high
and morale is too low,
just look in your heart,
You'll know where to go.

Inside there's a compass
to guide you your way.
A spiritual Star Chart,
to guide you today!

It picks up your spirits,
It carries your wings,
and when soaring on joy,
It THEN your heart sings.

Never cease, Never stop,
Never silence, Dear Heart!
For there is much to be done,
even after we part.

The journey's not easy
you decide when to start,
but from the beginning,
"Child. Follow Your Heart."

Because I Built It

I was overwhelmed today to find some old items of mine, or rather... I finally gave attention to several items of old that took me down memory lane. Journals and books and pictures and genealogy records, even sifting through my old paperwork way back when I became an Eagle Scout. And among all those things I found one unanimously agreeable feature: I am not the same as I was.

I am a changed man. In many more ways than just physically. For years as a child I set up worlds and dreams for myself that I had long since forgotten, but somehow, each one of those old childhood promises held such a poignancy in my heart. I couldn't help but to laugh out loud at a few of them, simply because of how devout I was to the idea or promise or dream or goal. I was rather shocked at the fact that I lost my way from such a firm knowledge that I once had. Reading a few old journals, I chuckled at the unwavering faith and steadfast knowledge of the good in people and the good in the world that I had at the time, and I struck quite a chord with myself. I was amazed and confused and even a little set off by the fact that I could wander off... "Experience" as it were, the things I did. There are even direct passages, IN MY JOURNAL... TO MYSELF telling me that if I had not achieved certain goals or fulfilled certain dreams, that I had let myself down and that my planning and preparation as a child was for naught. There were dreams and goals that even now I'm wary of tackling, they seem so great and powerful and quite difficult. But I saw this trend going through these things, that as I came to know the world better, the more I knew it's ins and outs, it's goods and evils, its miracles and sheer happenstances... the more I came to fear. I began to slowly, and without of knowledge of doing so, come to sort of defeat. I had once thought the world was mine, once revelled in the power that I had over it, simply because I did not fear it. Reading on I had another light bulb moment, the only fear I saw, was the fear of myself, as a child, the only thing that I knowingly feared was the man I MIGHT NOT become, that I might disappoint the dreams for myself that I had set with such a high standard. But knowing myself... I could only have set them because I knew I could achieve them, even as a child, I didn't bite off more than I could handle, that bad habit became more and more apparent as time went on, I continued to shock myself with demands that I put to paper:

"...if you're not what I dreamed you to be, then something has got to change. Probably your attitude if it hasn't changed already..." "...when you're married and have read through this again, make sure you and your wife bow your head in prayer and thank God..." "Keep working, keep laughing, keep reading, keep learning, keep loving everyone (especially the Lord)" "...remember the friends you have now, they've gotten you through a lot, you could return the favor you know." "Decision, decisions. They are hard, but don't worry about what you decide, try your best and what you know you should do, and the Lord will make it right."

I am honestly baffled at the power in that young man. Where did it go. These are revelations and truths that I am JUST NOW coming to terms with and coping with! You tell me that I've known them already!? Where did I go!? What did I learn!?

A lot as a matter of fact.

All of my life I've heard people tell me, "Just trust me on this one," as if their word was the only guidance I needed. And though this is a perfectly viable option for many to take, it is not the one for me. I have only, to the best of my knowledge, holistically trusted ONE person, and she has yet to say "Just trust me on this one." And not to ruin a good thing going, but I do wish I could tell my younger self, "You DO know what's going to happen right? You're going to go experience for yourself... you know that right? You know there will be a lot of heartache and sadness, strife and loss, you know that it won't get easier and it won't get better any time soon right? You KNOW this! I know you do!" And I can almost hear little me answering, "Yes, but I need to have a foundation first. I need to build a home, so that when my journey is through and when I return, I know where I am and I know that I belong... because I built it."

And just like I am right now, tears would well up in my eyes and I would hug those little blue eyes right out of his head. My younger me has taught myself something, whatever it is that I've done in this life... I HAVE DONE! ME! MARSHALL!!! MYSELF, and I, and ME and I... I have wandered. I have learned. I have strayed. I have conquered. I have failed. I have loved. I have hated. I have wondered. I have known. And I will continue to do so for the rest of my life.

Here's the long story short. For so long, people have told me that I'm an introvert, that I ponder long and hard and I come to conclusive decisions by thinking deeply and decisively, and while this is true... it's not all true. I do! I get things done, and I like doing... I guess I just think deeply about what I'm going to do before I do it, and with the consequences weighed, whether they're good or bad... I do. I experience, and I've come to find that my life has been filled with rich, wonderful, and exciting experiences.

I don't know myself very well. And I'm becoming more and more acquainted with who I am every day, and it is a terrifying and frightening experience... but so is doing. And because I built it, because I built me, because I am building the knowledge of knowing who I am, I know it's mine. I know it's home. I know that when I wander off and when I leave my goals for a little while, I can come back, I can know I belong, I can belay my worry and confusion, because I built it. I built me. I am who I am, and I make myself out to be everything I want and everything I CAN be...

I am building. It is slow, it is terrifying, and I don't see the process ending at all soon. But I am building it, I have built it, and I will continue to build it.

May God or whatever higher power you believe in grant with so many blessings that you have no more room to recieve them and they you may do nothing with the left overs but give them, freely, with no intention of return or praise. You are only what you make yourself to be, you are only what you build. Make it big!

The Blog Tagging - 25 Things You Don't Know

The Game - someone tags you in a post or in a blog and you have to write blaaaahh blah blah blah blaaahhh... Here's twenty five things that chances are you don't know about me... treat them well.

1. I like socks... and underpants. If you know me well enough than you know that I have a large assortment of boxers and a myriad of socks... they are my guilty pleasures.
2. I cannot STAND hair on carpets... something about it is just utterly revolting. Sometimes I gag.
3. There is no room for pessimism in my life, but I've hung out with enough of you damned people that it's starting to rub off, and it really pisses me off. If I should make any complaint it would be that... pessimism... >.> wait.....
4. I'm a lover of hot button topics, if I can squeeze in a controversial subject I will. I find joy when people can stand up for what they truly believe in and what they think is right, regardless of how I feel, so I get a genuine kick out of challenging people, and likewise...
5. I have a hard time turning challenges down! I LOVE challenges, and anything that can puzzle my brain is even more noteworthy and tantalizing. There's something about proving people wrong about my capabilities, because in all honesty... that's why we issue challenges, because we know someone can't meet the ideals of expectations that we set forth for them. Which I think is another hot button subject.
6. I test my friendships, and I have lost many of them in the same discourse. I need to know that the investment that I'm putting into someone is worthwhile and quality, very few have undergone the rigorous testing and actually come out sticking with me! It's also indicative of who likes being challenged, someone who faces challenges and adversity with a positive mind and open palm is welcome to call themselves friend! I'm not sorry if I've set too high a standard for friendship and some of you haven't met it. Chances are, I've failed to meet the standards of many people who have done the same to me. 
7. I'm very self conscious of my body image. Someday I won't be. Today, I am.
8. I have three sisters that I am obsessed with. Jesse, Nicole, Amber. Their advice is amazingly poignant and each one has such different perspectives, I truly am blessed to have them.
9. I am blessed beyond belief to have two amazing brothers. That should be no secret, but I secretly love one and have come to respect all he is and all he does, for his fighter ability and amazing personal, physical, emotional and spiritual strength and the influence he is to me. And I secretly pretend like I'm a role model to the other one, with hopes that someday I get the tear jerking soul warming statement, "I'm proud of you Marsh. I want to be just like you." There is no better I could think of.
10. I am an uncle, and I revel in that fact everyday.
11. I. LOVE. TEACHING. It's the reason I teach elementary, it's the reason I taught Jr. High. I walk into my class every Monday and Friday with such an elation and joy in my heart. Sometimes they don't understand what I teach and sometimes, I don't understand what they learn, but there is something to it. I can't really explain it, but it has come to be the greatest blessing to me. When you find something that brings you joy, when you find something you love, you CAN'T NOT share it. I have a deep rooted and innate passion for music and theater and I can't not share it. Teaching is a blessing.
12. I love too easily. My heart is stolen so quickly, and I get in to trouble even quicker because of it. I have a real problem falling for people, and in that time I set up worlds and heavens for us, and quickly, they come crashing down.  I don't why I do, especially since I KNOW I do, and I SHOULD make ammends to it... I'm not quite sure how. There is no emotion quite like love, and even for the heartache that accompanies it in the downfall, the bliss in the moment seems worth it, to build my desires and expectations, my passions and feelings, it's the most raw and human thing we as humans can do.
13. I think. and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think. Point being, I never stop thinking, and it can be taken as a blessing or as a curse. Because my mind whirrs at a million miles an hour, when channeled correctly, it can make for some exceptional humor and quality wit, it is also the reason I have come to conquer a very calm and deliberate course of action, I don't know of a problem I haven't been able to work through, with or without help. But when let rampant, my mind can be a vile and deadly manor, filled with wanton thoughts and pointless images.
14. Along those lines, although I live in constant fear, I can out reason myself into action. I have rarely NOT done or tried. The world's purpose is solely to be experienced, and I want to do just that, I have found many things that I love with all my heart and I stick close to those things music, teaching, theater, fishing, rock climbing, backpacking, camping, horseshoes, washers, biking, canyoneering, fires, learning, reading, writing, loving, giving, hugs and kisses. I can't fill ALL my days with ALL these things and I'm having a really hard time with the withdrawals that I'm having in a few of them (AHEM! ROCK CLIMBING!!!! ***NUDGE, NUDGE, WINK WINK!!!!!! if anybody wants to take me, I wouldn't turn down your invitation... but that's not important.), but I make plans to pursue these deep rooted passions and keep them with me always.
15. I over analyze everything. Mostly in relationships, but in everything, overall. I don't like it either. I break apart peoples speech patterns, emotions, color schemes, body language, mannerisms, free time usage, glances, smiles, writings, hair styles, self care and lock it away in a little folder in the back of my mind, and everybody's everything is always there. And this is my problem, that because I do it, I simply assume that EVERYONE does it, and I watch very carefully everything I do for that reason, when truth is... NOBODY CARES!!! ....*sigh... I'm doomed.
16. The imagination is hands down the most glorious thing we have. If there is one thing I will support with my very last dying breath, it would be the imagination. To see the affects that the image that someone had in their mind, put to paper, than to action, than to life in SOMEONE ELSE'S BRAIN!!!??? I find it so desperately sufferable. I LOVE. seeing people be creative, there is nothing like it. The imagination is beautiful and complex, astounding and heart warming, I'm lucky to be good friends with mine and I LOVE getting to know others'.
17. More than anything, I fear being alone... not now, but... future tense... alone... I'm fine going to the movies by myself, eating out on my lonesome, taking walks with no one. I thoroughly enjoy it as a matter of fact.  But the fear of alone-ness means more something alone the lines of, I won't create all the memories I want to, or envision. I don't want to NOT have memories with those I love, I wish I could marry my best friends! ALL OF 'EM.
18. Best friends. We've all got 'em, we all need 'em. I'm lucky to have: my most best friend in the whole world, Tiffanie. I don't need to write a whole lot about her for her to know how much she means, since there isn't a day that's gone by that we haven't talked to each other in the past four months... I think she understands what an influential and incredible part in my life she has come to play. Queer how life works :) Lifelong acquaintances, young adult soul mates, best friends for life. How did I get so lucky? - My most wonderful and beautiful sister Sissy (well... I guess your REAL name is Michaela huh? Nope! It's Sis!) When you can sit for hours and hours in silence as we have done on so many occasions, than you know you've found the soul you've been pining for, for so long. There is such a special place reserved in my heart for her, that no man can touch and that no words can taint and that no action can defile. - THE BEST brother Steve. When I'm looking for someone to share in an adventure with, I need look no further. When I need to be creative, there is no better support system, and when I'm down? Press play, let the harrowing cinema take place. We two escape this world quite often, a process that helps us to understand how lucky we are and how little is asked of us, how spoiled we are and what beautiful lives we live. I know of few people who could endeavor to make that journey with me, and few people who are as selfless and heartfelt and holistically giving. - My brother, my roommate, my best friend, and his family. It's always a relief (I assume for him as well) to be able to come home from the worst of days and just expel, my life, my story, my worries, my wants, my thoughts, my deeds, my day... it's so therapeutic to have your best friend be your brother and roommate in the same kick. Fellow movie commentator, guilty pleasure T.V. watcher (so what!? We like Degrassi? and Glee? AND New Girl? AND New Normal? AND American Horror Story? AND Southpark? AND Family Guy? AND My Little Pony? (mostly Luc) AND Modern Family?............ so what?), down time video game enthusiast, music appreciator, stupid humor lover, retarded picture sharer, YouTube video watcher, arguer and friend. - My dear dear lifelong friends, those who have changed me and supported me through thick and thin and who I love with all my heart, whom I could never forget for what they've done, the love they've given and the support they've shared / Kiera, Kayla, Ashley, Taylor, Abby, Josh, Nate, Ally, Tessa, Elise, Calee, Lorelle, Cameron, Cader, Nigel, Bryce, Agnes, Greg, Felix, Russell, just to name a few. Friends come and friends go, but I sure hope I hang on to these guys for the rest of my life, and I'm lucky to know that a couple of them are staying for sure, not many have they luxurious commodity!
19. I feel like the luckiest man alive to be able to make a living out of what I love doing. I know of many who are stuck in jobs they don't like, and while I may never be the richest or most famous, I get to share what I love to those who need and want it the most, and in the mean time I get to spend all my hours, all the days, doing what I love. I may not always be able to scale mountains and pitch a baseball, or swim in the ocean or climb trees or pee outside or fish the rural lakes of the Uintas. I'll never stay young enough to play football forever or go running, shovel my front walk or mow my lawn, but I certainly will be able to write, appreciate writing, read, make music, listen to music, appreciate music, play music, tell stories, think up stories and act them out for as long as I live. I'm the luckiest man alive!
20. I hate making lists or setting time limits... sad thing is... it's what I'm best at and do the most. I would much rather have things just go and do and be and occur and happen and live... I'm getting better, but I'm still stuck in expectations, lists and timer world... ya... it pretty much sucks.
21. I'm disgustingly OCD. I've learned to control it very well, but sometimes I just can't stand things not being straight, aligned, in the same color scheme, dirty or out of place. Sometimes I just OCD crazy or fixing and cleaning and straightening and rearranging... but I'm much better, card games don't bother me anymore :D
22. I filter a lot, few people, and I mean FEW like... I can count them on one hand and have room to spare, know how blunt and sometimes rudely honest I can be, but that's really who I am, most of the time I just filter out the wazoo to make you feel nice, but most of you haven't even pushed to the hot button subjects for conversations to be filterable at all... if that made any sense what so ever. Long story short on number twenty two, I'm a whitty smart ass with no filter and could care less about how you feel, the truth is the truth, yes, sometimes it hurts, but... tough nuts dude... I'm over it, you're over it. Look at how easy that was! ^.^
23. I miss my Gram. I think about her often and I couldn't asked for a better childhood friend, and though our last five years together were not the most pleasant or ideal in their conditions, I got to spend them with her at my side, every step of the way. I miss you, and I love you. Thank you for watching over me and my family always. Every batch of cookies I bake, I do for you, the best Grandma ever, Audrey.
24. Although I do have very unique ideas and feelings about the armed forces and war, they have my utmost respect and love, especially since two of my brothers and served and served well. I also LOVE the songs, all the anthems for each branch almost bring me to tears... here's a link if you're not certain what I'm talking about http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_I5BqvpkwmA 
25. In my range of tasted foods, the only ones I can't eat are Cheetos, Pot stickers, and Egg rolls. I'm game for anything and everything else. I'm a HUGE food connoisseur, I firmly believe that there are only three universal languages; love, music and food. I'm fairly well acquainted with the first two and I'm getting to know the third better and better, those are the only three things that can cross any national border, can travel to any distant continent, journey to any distant land, and still be understood. Music, Love and Food.

Perhaps you've learned something about me, perhaps you don't care, but I'm playing the game too, so if you have a blog, or even if you don't! you've been tagged, you're now a part of the game, share with someone twenty five things that they might not know about you, step out of your comfort zone for a sec, let people inside your Fort Knox of emotions and feelings, go crazy. Happy Blogging! May God or whatever higher power you believe in grant you so many blessings that you have no more  room to receive them, until we meet again.

The Order of Wisdom

Mosiah 4:27 "And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order."

A dear friend turned me to this scripture the other day, a miracle in it's own right that I would even look at a scripture to start with. I got thinking though about the meaning, about my life, about many, many things, and in that great duration of thought, the phrase from that scripture "Wisdom and Order," kept popping into my mind. Though the meat of the scripture resontes the idea that, "...it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength," still, the idea of Wisdom and Order struck it's poignancy with every glancing thought. Wisdom and Order, I kept repeating back to myself, Wisdom and Order... "...See that all these things are done in wisdom and order?" Obviously there is a reason that this scripture was phrased the way it was, and still, I'm honestly shocked that I gave this much thought to a scripture... not like me at all.

Firstly, I recognized the idea that Wisdom was placed BEFORE Order and in an unexpected gust of second nature I got slapped in the face by my metaphorical mind self. It would make NO sense to have Order before Wisdom... Let's present it like this, shall we?

You have family coming over for dinner... or maybe friends over for a party?

Okay?

okay...

 

The overall task at hand would be to clean the house and prepare to host your home for guests and visitors that day.

Right?

right...

 

The WISE thing to do would be to make a list of things that need to get done.

That's the easy part.

Actually coming up with the list of things that needs to get done?

Different story.

 

Let's image we actually did the chores and cleaning BEFORE we made the list.

 

RED FLAG #1

 

Everybody reading this just realized, "That doesn't make sense!!!"

But we're not done... bear with me here.

 

We even follow through with carrying out the chores, BEFORE we put thought into them.

Things become A LOT harder (and on a grammatical side note, A LOT is two words, not ALOT... alot sounds like a type of animal, one that I don't want to own... I wouldn't want to own an alot... but even then, you don't own adog or abear or abird... does that makes sense? Grammar rant - Done.) to get done. Absentmindedly (without thought or wisdom) we could do the dishes before we prepare the food, which means once the food is prepared, we may end up having to do the dishes again...

 

We could vacuum the carpets at the beginning of the day and then dust right after that, which means at the end of the day you would have to vacuum the now days worth of sullied carpets which have been todden on in a day of preperation... and very few people dust the same thing twice in a day, and depending on the kind of vacuum you have, you may have to dust again... but you won't ;) see where I'm getting? And before you know it you're mowing the lawn at midnight with no light (so your mowing lines are all crooked and make your lawn look bad), the bathrooms still haven't been cleaned and your children have failed to be fed.

 

It's a hassle.

 

Chances are, taking some thought and time and Wisdom (KEY WORD ALERT!!! WISDOM!!!!!!), we can then put things into order, we save ourselves time, headache, stress and double cleaning duty (and this is all metaphorical, reffering back to the scripture).

 

It made sense... Wisdom before Order. I kind of thought WO! That's crazy! And then it hit me again, "THE SCRIPTURE'S NOT EVEN OVER!!!" The next part said, "for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength." This part made such complete and natural sense to me, since I've already prepared and taken care of the pre-requisites, this shouldn't be too much of a hassle to deal with. Not only that, it probably COULDN'T be ahassle (see what I did there?) to deal with, even if we WANTED to run faster than we had the strength to, our preparation, planning, and wisdom would help us to decide otherwise. But even if we wanted to run fast, I think we couldn't run faster than we had strength, I just think that our Wisdom would give us MORE strength, and that would ultimately lead to a faster running speed.

 

There's nothing wrong with moving in a fast paced personal life... we live in a fast paced world! Sometimes we can't help it, sometime we get caught up in how fast it is, that we focus less on the Wisdom of the choices and more, how quickly and how much can we get done... in essence, the Order of our fast paced lives, and as the little demonstration displayed ^^^^^^^^^^^ we could soon create more than is necessary for us to deal with. But for those who CAN display and DO display Wisdom before Order, they ARE blessed with more strength and in turn they CAN move faster than the average person. I know only a few people who are like this, but the cause and effect are jaw droppingly effective, and the results are exponentially benificial. Once you start on that track, you can't stop.

 

ON THE OTHER HAND!!! There are those who (Introverts) need time to themselves to think and understand, here we end up spending all of our time in Wisdom section and we completely put Order out of place, thinking that if we think about it enough, somehow, the Order will present itself. But just as those who run Order, thing after thing after job after job after obligation after obligation, should probably delve a little more into the thought and Wisdom aspect of the tango, those who focus obsoletely on Wisdom should probably open themselves more to the Order, and either way you run the play, neither can happen without SOME form of outward expression. Meaning, we need to start incorperating what we have a smaller percentage of for a more balanced and more well rounded lifestyle, this can be from baby steps like; simply acknowledging that said process needs to take place, to sparatic zombie steps like; working on Wisdom here and Order there and then maybe some ice cream and then some more Order and then Wisdom and then treat yourself to GoodWood, to ka-frakin-huge steps like; having a total change of heart, stopping all morally unhealthy activity, changing the direction your life is heading and doing it all cold turkey, over night. Any and all are plausible, but simply depend on how you operate and who you are. Ultimately, Moderation in all things.

 

It sends me straight to the talk given by Elder Kent D. Watson of the Second Quorum of the Seventy from the October 2009 Conference Saturday afternoon session, the talk is titled "Being Temperate in All Things." An overarching ideal in this talk lends itself to the fact that, "Learning to be temperate in all things is a spiritual gift available through the Holy Ghost." Which means something else. If, as King Benjamin tells us, we see to it, "that all these things are done in wisdom and order;" it is going to be the product of the Holy Ghost and its accompaniment in our lives. God is only willing to help us as much as we are willing to help ourselves, he will not trust us with more blessings if we cannot proactively procure the blessings that he is attempting to offer us now, and those blessings will in turn lend to the knowledge and experience that we need to obtain other blessings and again, the results are exponentially benificial. Once you start on that track, you can't stop. But YOU have decide to take action, YOU have to decide what action is best to take, and YOU need God to make that decision, he will offer you the basics, the Wisdom and Order, what you do with it from there is all you.

 

"And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent," (this is the part where you productively procure), "that thereby he might win the prize;" (the prize, in my opinion and in the case of this post, the understanding and knowledge of what it is to have those gifts, to cherish them, and to use them wisely) "therefore, all things must be done in order" (in which the wisdom that God has granted you will ease the road in procuring what you find important and what is vitally necessary to your spirit and your overall moral, emotional, physical, and spiritual health.)

 

 "And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength." (Wisdom) "And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order." (Order)

 

"God does not play dice with the universe." ~ Albert Einstein

 

"God has a plan for all of us, but He expects us to do our share of work for it." ~ Minnie Pearl

 

"Don't expect that you Deserve anything, chances are you don't want what you deserve." ~ T.W. Kline