And a what a rare breed we are... the few who create!
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Chronicled in an actors' role is everything that actor has to offer in life. Their pains, joys, victories, struggles, defeats, safe places, happy thoughts, laughs over the years, quietly shed tears, loudly shaken sobs and most importantly, their silence. We escape to the entertainment because we're suppressed, we turn to music because we all wear a facade, we get lost in too many books because we refuse to think for ourselves, we are terrified that there is a world out there that will expose our deepest darkest places, and ruin our ever present happiness and choice to become some unrealistic utopia. It doesn't come from pretending, it doesn't come from being determined to be happy, it doesn't come from the ideal that something better is out there. It comes from doing. It comes from making big mistakes, learning from them, and moving on. And while mistakes, sin, faults, terror, fears and all other terrifying mortal experiences are not necessary... we are human, and they are inevitable.
So it is only those who understand the art, those who accept honesty and love the idea of their walls being ripped to shreds, and their boundaries being violated. Those who enjoy being pushed just beyond their comfort zone, because they know it's exactly where their life will begin... It is they, who understand the heartbreak, and the fear and loneliness in leaving behind not just a truly beloved production, cast and crew... but a story worth telling - a family worth seeing, and loving, and holding, and laughing with, and sharing with, and understanding - a truly honest and beautiful life worth living - a world worth inspiring. They know! They know our paths will cross again, they know our futures are forever intertwined, they know our dreams and goals and aspirations... they know. They know.
Today was the closing of another show SHREK: The Musical. By far, the best production I have ever been blessed with! I'm truly disheartened to know that this cast is broken and that we will all head our separate ways. But there is a Silver Lining (see what I did there?) to every grey cloud. We always have this show, and these memories, the jokes and networking, events and friendships, love, intimacy, joy, family bonds, hearts, minds and souls that still bind us together; and forever we will be the cast of the SCERA's 2013 - SHREK: The Musical!
It's an interesting concept... creating... putting SO much sacrifice into what...? A show? A painting? A craft? A song? A plant? I was reminded how insignificant it all is, again today. We worked for countless hours on that show, crew built sets and the cast ran scenes for hours and hours and days and hours. We laughed, we cried, we spoke, we shouted, we sang and we danced, and tonight at seven thirty the beginning of the end commenced, and just around eleven o'clock that night our lives moved on. We washed our character's off of our faces, we stripped our facades of their clothing, we packed up and moved out; the set came tumbling down, the props were removed, the mics put away, the lights dimmed and the house shut. That is the last time that such an event will ever happen, that SHREK will come to a close and the cast will tearily eyed hobble themselves over to IHOP for one final hoorah. But truly... that was it. Months of rehearsal, planning and preparation.... and all at once, it died.
We put our lives, and hearts, and souls into our trade. Creation. Which, when you think about it, is how it should be. The Almighty Creator gave his life and soul for us, and in a sense, we give a little bit of our own life and spirit into every little thing we create, and every light and beautiful mind we touch. From something as small as a bracelet or stamp collection or a child to something as grand as a Hollywood Blockbuster or a new form of Government! Those projects, those creations; now are small representations of us... they now carry our spirit and our vigor, our outlook, our hopes, and dreams, and schemes, and plans within them. Maybe that is the true reason we create, because we cannot help but be awed at the splendor of the marvels that come from our own two hands and heart. It truly is an amazing thing.
I don't like that statement. The few who create! ... why can't it be... we are a crazy breed... the world of innovators and creators! Our world is in for massive good when we can tap into the knowledge that we have the ability to do amazing things. "But it's all for naught," some might say (and HAVE said to me), "You work countless hours on a play, only to perform it fourteen times and tear everything down in a matter of minutes." I laugh at these statements, when people make them. You gain so much more in the creation and process of production than you do in consuming from those that produce... It's just the way it is. And sometimes true art is characterized by an irresistible urge in the creative artist, sometimes... we have no choice BUT to create. It screams at us... the pages of books and freak of our hearts. The arts and crafts in the store or the empty garden patch in the backyard... sometimes they just cry out and weep for attention and growth, and we have no option but to pity those poor things and nurture them until they mature and we can watch them take on lives of their own and fully blossom out their potential. Creation, art, entertainment... is not so much a job as a calling, and we as the bold lovers of the human experience are pulled into sharing with the world the places of our hearts that everyday people only wish they had access to!
I am blessed to have a found a family... a group just a ridiculous, and creative, and beautiful, and powerful, and willing to break their hearts as I am. You may not know it... but THAT, is a miracle. These people, my friends, my family, this cast... is a miracle. They have changed my life, and have shaped my future. They have inspired, and touched, and taught, and loved, and despised, and always accepted me. And not just me, but everyone. At all times, in all things... all places. I never been more proud to be a part of a family... and I am broken to think this is the last of us. We will always be friends and we will always call. We'll always continue to work and find projects with one another... but this family... just like everything else on this Earth, cannot last. Even our tears, and golden smiles of moving forward!
"Every human has four endowments- self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom... The power to choose, to respond, to change." Says Stephen Covey and he's so right. When you think about it, in a way, creativity is just connecting things. When you ask creative people how they did something, they feel a little guilty because they didn't really do it, they just saw something. It seemed obvious to them after a while. That's because they were able to connect experiences they've had and synthesize new things. And it is those four endowments; self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination that leads to those syntheses! How I love to create, and watch the creative process happen. It is truly a miracle in its own right. And, rest assured, we wouldn't get rid of our creations (whether we mean to or not) if we didn't enjoy destruction just a little bit. There is no point in creating if you can't handle the loss. ;)
We are an interesting people. We few who create!
"To some it would have been called fate, to others destiny, to others coincidence. But there is a connection between two people far more powerful than any graspable entity, and far surer than the rising sun. Soul mates. Soul people. Star people. An adjective of sorts that has yet to come to sorts in its own use. To many, these people, these "soulmates" are the ones who, from right at the start, (maybe before you even meet them, but you've heard of them or seen a picture...) "get you". These are the beings that truly know you inside and out, and can see you for who you are, for what you are to become. For where you have been and where you are going, and for once in a lifetime, between these kindred spirits is a complete understanding. Not the type of acquaintance or understanding where you've known this person or that since childhood or even birth, and know and “understand” every event that has happened in their life, I do not speak about “twins” or “family” chosen OR in bloodline. No, these soul people, mates, friends, don't need to know all of that. They don’t need to know all the little details and background schema. The why’s, the who’s, the when’s, the where’s, the how’s, the what’s all become insignificant in the single beat of the heart, because they know your soul; they know the true essence of your being. They are the ones who look past your flaws, your insecurities and weaknesses, and truly (for those who are knowledgeable and really understand the depth of the meaning of the words), value your essence; your very existence; your ever living breath and every passing beat of the heart. When these people look at you, it is immediate that they are looking at your soul, rather than who you've become or what you've previously done. They are the first (before you, even) to unlock your potential and tap into your future. To the few that find them, these soul people are family, or more appropriately a tribe. Their presence is not inherently immanent, they may not even cross paths or talk for the larger portion of their existence in mortality, but they are the ones that you can always count on, and always turn to, come hell or high water. Whether the heavens part or the depths break open, the only constant is the soul that this tribe shares, that it belongs to, returns to. They could be near or far, in hand or out of reach; but these tribes are one. There are many, each one different, each one perfect, and each one ever more significant to those belonging to it, then those who do not; but they are one. You will always find a way back, back home, where the soul belongs. There are indeed many great people in this world, but to find those ones who actually understand and value you for all that you are, and to love you in spite of it, is a supple and rare calamity, as it is indeed a great catastrophe in the eyes of the world, for once you have made this bond, it cannot be broken. It can only strengthen, multiply, and in a sense dominate the weaker world, those who think they do not need it; those who think they are better off without it; those who think that they are more important than, or better than it, and it is their greatest fear to face a soul that is united, that is loved, when they are alone and rejected. I warn you, this is a covenant not to be underestimated or underappreciated, and always held dear, sacred, and with the highest respect." ~ T.W. Kline
"Then we saw him pick up all the things that were down.
He picked up the cake, And the rake, And the gown,
And the milk, and the strings, And the books, and the dish,
And the fan, and the cup, And the ship, and the fish.
And he put them away. Then he said, “That is that.”
And then he was gone, with the tip of his hat."
The Cat in the Hat reminds us that, "That is that." We all move on, and we all grow and live another day and continue on with other lives, and while, "That IS that," more importantly, we have the lifetime of memories to look back on, the jokes, and laughter, the tears, and fears, and instantly, these memories become our best friends with the knowledge that there is more to come in the future and there is a great deal to hope for!
I love you my family! I cannot wait to see the amazing things you all accomplish and how our paths cross in the future. You are all sacred holders of my heart! I love you, I love you, I love you. I am thankful for all you have given to me and all you have shown me, and most importantly, who you have made me! I am thankful for many things, a child's laugh, a warm tear, the caressing tenderness of a friendly hand, the mind-clearing heart-warming voice of a loved one. I could rant and rave till I die of what I am grateful for, it would do me no good. I pray, so deeply and heavenly, that we have chances to cross paths again, however often or seldom that we do, and that I can express my deep and unending love for you. That I can hold you, and hug you, and kiss you, and love you.
May God or whichever higher power grants you your life forever grant you with so many forever blessings that you have no room to receive them, that you are left with no other option but to pass them on in love and devotion and care. May the spirit of warmth and happiness accompany you in the holiday season and for your many long and prosperous days ahead of you. May you someday, fully understand how much I love each and every one of you. Till we meet once more in a most loving and heartfelt embrace, I give thanks for we few, interesting, and crazy that create!
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